New Years Resolutions?

I know it's not even Christmas yet but it has only occurred to me that I have no New Years resolutions yet. I think New Years Resolutions are a great idea. New Years is a clean slate and a chance to start fresh and begin self-renewal. It is a time to reflect on the past year. Be proud of your accomplishments and cherish another year's worth of memories you have just made for yourself.

Number One

Every New Years I wish I'd taken more pictures so I could actually remember what I did the previous year because, if it hasn't got to do with school or study, I have a sieve memory and there are days were my memory span is much like a fish and once you have literally said the sentence I have already forgotten what you said.

So I think More Photos is definitely going to be a resolution of mine this coming year. Memories are so valuable to me. I get so emotional if I lose photos even just photos on my phone. The other day for example my phone was being a little brat and wouldn't stop bleeping telling me I had no memory left when I clearly had 2 GB left so I clicked on the bleeping sign and it automatically cleared my WHOLE photo album on my phone! Over 1000 pictures gone forever that I had stupidly never saved, lost forever...

So there I was having a little emotional strop on my bed as I usually do when I lose things, whining and whinging, being a pain in the arse to everyone else but glady my phone must have got fed up with my complaining because it bleeped and resorted my pictures.
Do you get the same satisfying feeling as I do when you coincidentally find an old photo album on your laptop or in your attic that you haven't seen for years and the memories and jokes and laughs all coming flooding back.
Sooooooo yep that is definitely resolution numbero uno :D

Number 2 is the cliche resolution - Fitness.

Improving my health and drink more water. I lack so much water sometimes I worry for my plasma. I go days and days without drinking something even when I have the juice right there in front of me. I blame it once again on my sieve memory because I honestly just forget its there sometimes.
Exercise, blah de blah, typical I know but my fitness has dropped alot this year. Three years ago I was in Olympic shape, a sport or 2 everyday for 4 hours a day. I would eat bucket loads of junk food but I was merely bones and muscles because there was never enough time for that garbage to hit my hips. It's depressing now when I try to exercise, running to the end of the road and being breathless when 50 laps in the gym were a breeze not to mention my abs who have seemed to got lost somewhere beneath my pizza and chips...

BUT  not only physical health but mental health. I feel personally my mental health has suffered a hard blow over the last two years and through the busy weeks and months that go by in our preparation for the Leaving Cert I just haven't had the time to give it the T.L.C it deserves and it needs. Mood swings galore and on this route I'm bound to end up with a few budding mental illness due to stress and anxiety if I leave it any longer. We can't keep brushing our problems under the mat people because lets face it, that shit gets nasty after a few days not to mention months O_o

Numbeeeeer TROIS

This one is definitely a more personal one for me. I really want for the new year to regain the relationship I once had with my mam which seems to have disintegrated over the past few years. I don't feel like I've been neglecting it, I do try, but of course great effort needs to come from both sides, alittle give alittle take. I need to get talking to her again instead of our usual robotic small talk which never leaves the comfort of the regular boring topics.

 I miss her, we used to be like best friends, I could tell her anything and I honestly felt like she had my back no matter what, that she was always looking out for me and that all she truly wanted for me was to be happy. Sadly I don't feel any of those things anymore, it seems merely like we're acquaintances, who simply know one another but not well and not close. I of course, will always have her back because she is my mother after all and I do love her wholeheartedly but there's a part of me that is cautious as though the favour will not be returned. The saddest part for me however is that I do not believe she has even noticed the disintegration of our relationship at all.

Number Four

Enough of the deep shit lets add a sprinkle of glitter and end it on a light note, shall we? My fourth resolution so far is my desire to find a passion. A definite passion! I move around hobbies quiet frequently, and oft returning to past hobbies, but it occurred to me that I don't have any specific interests or any that I am knowing of as of yet. Not just hobbies but beliefs and values and morals. I like to see the world from two perspectives obviously my own  but also from the eyes of another beholder depending on who is within eyes view, or be it whom I'm with at the given time. It is a nice way to see the world I think and it sure helps alot when trying to understand people, but in a way it makes my characteristics and values too versatile and flexible for my liking. I want to have a definite set of traits and beliefs that cannot be twisted to suit my situation but something that is MINE that cannot be persuaded away or tampered with but are (Read only) (unedited) not quite unchangeable however because as one grows they see the world differently  but I want something that I can be true to and live by with pride and passion.

That is all the resolutions that come to mind so far, so for now...

Goodbye.x